A Disease Called “Crypto” Is Spreading in Hot Tubs and Pools . . . So the CDC Is Asking You to Stop Pooping in Them
There’s a disease called Cryptosporidium . . . “Crypto” for short . . . that’s been spreading quite a bit over the past few years in hot tubs and pools.
And the CDC says we could stop passing it around . . . if we’d just stop POOPING in pools.
The main ways it spreads is through your pee and poop . . . so stop relieving yourself in pools and hot tubs. Stop letting your kids do that too. And also shower before you get into one. Oh, and don’t swallow any of the water.
A new report from the CDC just found there were 1,788 documented cases of Crypto between 2011 and 2012. 95% of people wound up in the hospital, and one of them died.
And the main symptom is bad DIARRHEA. (ABC News / Time)
A Woman Survived Being Hit by a Car Thanks to Her 38JJ Breasts
Is there ANYTHING enormous breasts can’t do?
28-year-old Sarah Foster of West Yorkshire, England was standing by the side of the road last year, when someone lost control of their Mini Cooper and SLAMMED into her.
But she survived . . . all thanks to her GARGANTUAN BREASTS. Sarah is a 38-double J. So they took the brunt of the impact when they hit the windshield of the car, AND cushioned her fall when she rolled off the hood onto the road.
She says, quote, “My boobs hit the [windshield] so hard it smashed. The doctors told me if I wasn’t so big-chested I’d probably have died. The paramedic who treated me told me I should be grateful for my ‘airbags.’”
Sarah was actually considering having a breast REDUCTION right before the accident because she was having back pain . . . but now it looks like she’ll be keeping them.
Her story just came out because she got a $7,800 insurance settlement. (Daily Mail)
Women in Japan Are Falling in Love With a Handsome Gorilla
Japan is pretty strange when it comes to sex. They get-it-on less than any other country, yet they’re also some of the most DEVIANT people on the planet, with their octopus sex cartoons and used underwear vending machines.
So we can’t even begin to figure THIS out. Apparently women in Japan are falling in love with a HANDSOME GORILLA.
He’s a silverback gorilla named Shabani, and he’s at the Higashiyama Zoo in Nagoya, Japan. He’s extremely muscular, and also manages to pull off an intense, sexy model look that makes it seem like he’s seducing you.
The zoo officials say they’ve seen a big increase in female visitors ever since photos of him started circulating on social media. Women usually call him “ikemen,” which is a term for a good-looking guy.
Shabani was born in Australia, and his old zookeeper is a guy named Allan Schmidt. He’s not surprised about what’s happening now because, quote, “The Japanese are crazy . . . they love their fads.”
Fortunately none of the women have done anything to act on their love, like jumping into his pen . . . so far. (Huffington Post)
CNN Thought They Spotted an ISIS Flag at a Gay Pride Parade . . . But It Was a Flag Covered in Sex Toys
After the Supreme Court voted to legalize gay marriage on Friday, some people were happy, some people were outraged . . . and CNN was confused.
They cut to breaking news on Friday afternoon, when they thought they spotted an ISIS flag at a gay pride rally in London. It was a similar design, since it was a black flag with white writing.
But it wasn’t Arabic writing . . . they were pictures of SEX TOYS.
They aren’t the only ones who got confused after the Supreme Court decision. A guy in Little Rock, Arkansas posted a furious message on his local NBC website, about how they’d turned their peacock logo RAINBOW colors to celebrate gay pride.
So NBC responded that their peacock logo has ALWAYS been rainbow colored.
And after the Supreme Court decision, marriage equality became one of the top trends on Twitter . . . only tons of people were misspelling it “e-q-u-a-i-l-i-t-y.”
Fox News, CNBC, Larry King, Margaret Cho, Jill Biden, Shonda Rhimes and Smash Mouth all used the misspelled hashtag. Yes, even SMASH MOUTH. (Slate / Newscast Studio / Gawker)
Obama Sang “Amazing Grace”
In case you missed it, PRESIDENT OBAMA launched into “Amazing Grace” on Friday. It was at the memorial for Reverend Clementa Pinckney, one of the victims of the mass shooting in Charleston, South Carolina the week before.
Obama gave the eulogy, and it was a mix between a speech and a sermon. Then at the end, he started singing by himself . . . until the rest of the congregation joined in. (Search for “President Obama sings Amazing Grace“.)
